aj is gonna get married so we are gonna go to vegas and fuck things up while doing more damage to our livers and brain cells that anyone knew possible.  in a safe, responsible, and respectful manner.

GENTLEMEN,

my sincerest and most heartfelt congratulations on receiving this email.  it is the first breadcrumb in a long chain of events that, provided everything goes well, will find you deep inside of a witches oven that you'll never want to leave. 

that was kind of an obscure joke / literary reference.  for more information, google "hansel and gretel" &/or "euphemisms for vaginas"  ... but fear not.  random sex is not a requirement of attendance.  

here's what you need to know:

OCTOBER 31st, 2014.  That is a Friday.  I need you in Vegas, ready to go by dinner time.  That means you can't work all day that day, get on a flight, land at the airport, come to dinner, and then be ready for bed shortly after.  Any attempts to do that will be met with drugs.  Up your nose.  (It's called Afrin, NSA).

HONESTLY, YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING ELSE.  I'VE GOT IT.  

here's what i need to know:

ARE YOU COMING?

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